flashback friday: april 1, 2010.

one year ago today i was thirty-six weeks pregnant.

yup.

it's april, & that means it's officially time to count-down to p-ray's b-day.  this is me exactly one year ago today.  i don't even know that girl & that girl wouldn't even recognize me.  one year changes a lot.  not only does it change your hair & the way your favorite rolling stones t-shirt fits you {yup, same shirt in both pictures}, it has completely changed who i am.

i no longer lie awake at night wondering what my baby's face will look like.  now i lie awake at night laughing to myself about all the silly looks my baby's face made that day.

i can no longer say i've never changed a diaper.  i can now say i've changed a diaper on airplanes, in the backseat of a car, on my lap, in restrooms, on benches, & countless other places.

i no longer spend an hour & a half getting ready for the day.  i've stopped blowdrying & straightening my hair & have rolled with my natural air-dried curls.  i've learned to be efficient.

i'm no longer the messiest person in my house.  i now spend a good portion of my time cleaning up the mess of toys that are left in the wake of p-ray's path.

i no longer worry about how i will find time to do the things i want to do.  i now worry about filling up my baby's free time with worthwhile activities, play dates, & things that will help him grow & develop.

i no longer worry about how a baby will change the dynamic of my marriage.  i have now fallen in love with sam on a completely different & deeper level.

i no longer wonder why moms complain so much & yet still have kids.  i now understand that sometimes you just gotta vent, but you would never change a minute of any of it for the world.

i no longer go straight from the office to my bedroom at night when going to bed.  ever.  i always stop by parker's room & watch him sleep for a minute.  every.  single.  time.

i no longer think i'll be the mom who can still "do everything" & that having a kid won't change my lifestyle.  i now know what it's like to put someone else's best interests first & change my plans to accommodate a nap.

i no longer wonder if i'll know what to do when my baby cries.  i can now comfort & soothe a crying baby with the sound of my voice but still fear the day that isn't enough.

i no longer worry about how i will be able to love a little person i don't even know.  i now know what it feels like to love someone with every single part of my being.  and then some.

i'm no longer just amy, wife to sam.  i am now amy, wife to sam & mom to parker.  i'm a mom.


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