here's the short answer. i know more about myself now & who i am than i ever did back then.
these last two years of being a {mostly} stay at home mom really have changed me & honestly? the only thing i miss about that full-time career woman is the bigger paycheck. but getting to stay home with parker & watch him grow has made up for that in amounts way more priceless than dollars.
ok, that's the cheesy short answer. here's some other ways i've changed.
i discovered my love for photography & started a business. i've always been an obsessive picture-taker & always insisted on taking a million pictures of every occasion. but when parker was just a couple months old i realized i wanted to take this passion to the next level & we purchased my first dslr. it started with millions of pictures of parker but now i'm on my second camera & have since shot countless families, seniors, kids & a handful of weddings. if it wasn't for staying home & photography blogs & a cute little model to learn on, i'm not so sure any of this would have ever happened. i definitely see a long life as a photographer ahead of me & hope this is just the beginning... i think it's something i am good at & something i strive to be better at.
also? this might not be true for most moms but i feel like i've discovered a lot about my own personal style & fashion sense since becoming a mom. when i dress up, i dress with more purpose & my home is decorated much more to my liking than it ever has been {although it's always a work in progress!}. pinterest & fashion blogs & lots of trips to target & the mall probably have something to do with this.
when i was pregnant with parker i think i thought all moms were destined to lives of yoga pants & slippers & although this really is what i wear 75% of the time {it's actually quite glorious}, i still find times to dress up & look nice. i still clean up well. i still get to curl my hair & wear heels {if i want} to church on sundays or for my one day in the office on thursdays. this is plenty for me. it turns out moms wear yoga pants & flip flops or slippers all the time because it is COMFY. who knew?
when i was pregnant with parker i worried about losing touch with current events. becoming a mom-in-a-bubble. this is something i work on. i watch the news, i read cnn.com & follow all kinds of newsfeeds on facebook. i think i have a pretty good idea what is going on in the world around me & i enjoy talking about current events with sam every night. it would be easy to tune all that out & worry only about the number of dirty diapers parker had that day but this is something that's important to me & i hope it always is.
and lastly? what i didn't know about myself back then is how much i could love another little human being. i didn't expect that i would honestly feel like i love my kid more than any one in the whole world could possibly love theirs. i didn't know that watching sam be a dad would make me fall in love with him over & over again everyday & that being a family kicks the crap out of being a married couple.
basically, all my fears i had back in the day were unnecessary. mommy-hood is what you make of it. i think it's important to make time for yourself & put yourself first when it's appropriate because no one should ever feel like they've lost their identity. of course i have my daily struggle with fitting in all the things i have to do versus what i would like to do but that happens with kids or no kids, right? you just have to figure out your priorities.
turns out being a mom is a pretty good thing to be. i highly recommend it.
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