today i am thirty-six weeks.

the soon-ness of when this baby boy will be here is really starting to hit hard.  as of today, there are only four weeks between now & kid two's due date.  believe it or not, about 95% of me is completely excited & ready.  i'm ready for the chaos that will come with two kids & i spend a lot of time wondering what this little boy will be like & look like.  i can't wait for parker to meet his baby brother & to hold my little newborn & most importantly?  take five hundred thousand pictures of him.  approximately.

the other 5% of me?  freaking out, man.  we only have {give or take} four weeks left with life as we know it.  only four more weeks with parker as my one & only.  and only four more weeks of sleeping through the night for who knows how many months.  so there's that.

and then there are all the things left to cram into these next four weeks.  we've crossed a few things off our bucket list but i still have quite the agenda.  i can already see a lot of these things aren't gettin done... but that's fine.  some of them can wait until after boy two is here or some of them can just wait, period.

and you guys, i'm tired.  it's getting harder & harder to get motivated to pack me & parker up & get out of the house each day.  as the temperature rises here in the northwest, i feel more & more inclined to just melt into the seat of my couch.  dealing with parker's occasional tantrums/defiance is so much easier in the comforts of my house than in the parking lot of target & even lifting him in & out of his carseat is enough to fatigue me.  i'm such a wimp!

ok but mostly?  i'm crazy excited.  the baby stuff is starting to pile up around here & reality is setting in... this baby is coming.  i picked out what he'll come home from the hospital in, there's a shiny new carseat just waiting to cart him around in {we bought parker's used & it's now thrashed} & i cannot WAIT to run with my babies in our new double jogging stroller.  actually, i just can't wait to run again!!  yay fitness!

oh man, four more weeks.  it's gonna crawl & it's gonna fly by all at once.  hopefully i can motivate myself to get out of the house enough times to cross a few more things off our list & make the most of these four weeks.  we'll be looking at sleepy newborn pictures before we know it!!