on family size.

i think about this constantly.  and it's not like we have to decide how many babies we're having for at least three or four more years.  but i find myself thinking about how many kids are gonna make up our whole family like all. the. time.

i grew up in a family of four girls & sam has three brothers & a sister.  we love our big families.  and there is nothing like getting the whole family together.  so growing up i always thought i'd have four kids.  no brainer.

and then we had one.

whoa.  how the heck do people do more?  parker is a dang near perfect baby & i have my hands {happily!} full.  i feel like i can never get "caught up" & there is always something left undone.  always an email to be answered, always a room to be cleaned, always a load of laundry to be put in.  it's not parker's fault, i'm just saying that when you become a mom there is a big shift in priorities, ya know?  things get left undone because your family needs you & you have to decide what can wait until tomorrow.  and i just have one kid.

and we want how many more?

depends on who you ask.  sam would say one more... done.  i would say one more... then we're probably done.  i'm excited & scared at the thought of having another, but mostly excited.  we can't wait for parker to have a sibling.  and two seems like such a perfect little round number.  you can still drive around a five passenger car, you can easily tote around a double stroller, you have one hand for each kid & a kid for each parent.

but then i think, what if they don't end up being close?  will my kids be deprived of that big family that i always loved growing up in?  but maybe cousins will provide same thing.  maybe.  because parker has a LOT of cousins.  like 19.  but we don't live very close to any of them so uh, maybe not.

and that's my internal debate.  i think that after baby number two gets here we'll know.  we'll either know that we're done or we'll feel like there's more babies to be made.

but i wanna hear your thoughts.  anyone out there always think they'd have a big family & then decide later it wasn't for them?  or are you one of those amazing women who take motherhood in stride & can't wait til your mini-van is full?

...or are you like me & you're just taking it one baby at a time?  because at this rate, if they keep turning out like parker we may have our very own football team someday.  only time will tell.

i'd love a couple votes.  that'd be pretty sweet.