i was so excited for what my baby was becoming that i never had any of those "holy crap where did that first year go? where is my baby?" emotional meltdowns. i embraced my emerging toddler & waved bu-BYE to those itty bitty baby days.
but today? the day where parker turned eighteen months & one day? it hit me. he is growing up & there is nothing i can do to make it slow down. he's now closer to a two year old than a one year old & pretty soon i won't be tracking his age in months. the years will fly by. he'll stop blowing me kisses & squeezing my legs for hugs & soon enough, he'll be walking out my door to college. he won't fit in my lap for stories or stand at my feet with his arms in the air saying "up! up!" i'll probably feel weird tickling under his chin to make him giggle & he'll lose interest in matchbox cars.
these days are numbered.
why is this hitting me now? because i think i'm realizing just how fast time can fly when you're having fun. these last six months since parker's birthday have seriously been a blink in time.
right now? parker isn't malicious. he doesn't know how to intentionally hurt anyone & he doesn't know anyone is capable of intentionally hurting him. he doesn't know what this world has in store for him & all he knows is his mommy & his daddy & how he loves his blanket. how he loves stories & puppies & throwing sawdust in the air. he starts his mornings with a small dose of elmo & loves to point at my nose & my ears & my eyes while i sing to him before bed. right now? he is perfect.
we don't fight, he's never called me a mean name & he's never talked poorly of anyone. those things will change. i won't be able to lift him up anymore & he'll go places without me knowing where he is. and the kicker? is that parker will spend the vast majority of his life not even living under our roof.
someday i'll have to let him go.
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