this guy.

{linking up with the paper mama's photo challenge:  "face."  because?  this face kills me.}

oh man.

i started this post off in my head with the intention to rant a little.  but as i sit down here at the computer in my quiet house in my quiet little office while everybody else sleeps, i just can't do it.  i can't complain about this guy & his chubby little face.  so i won't.

but what i will say?  is oh my gosh you guys, he's changing.  not like cracking voice, oily-skin-acne-face changes... oh no, thank heavens not yet.  not for like twenty more years i don't think.  he is however changing into a little boy.  he is getting so much more strong willed & independent & with this new found independence comes a new found determination to do things his way.  or maybe it's just a newfound determination to do things.

and just because sometimes it's not exactly what i would love for him to be doing doesn't make it any less amazing.  yes, it's taking so much more energy out of me to chase after him & try to keep him entertained with what he should be doing & yes we do have the occasional showdown over wether or not he is going to pick up some of the food he threw on the floor at lunch, but know what else he does?  a lot.  like, he actually tells me he wants to eat.  he doesn't just sign "eat," he walks into the kitchen, pulls his bib off the hook where it hangs, walks over to his high chair, holds his bib up to his chin & says "eeeeaaat!"

so what if half that food ends up on the floor, splattered across the cupboards, or smeared across the curtains right?

and who cares if the kitchen floor is hardly ever walkable because it's constantly covered in canned foods & cake mixes from the lower cupboards?  parker can't help it if those things make perfect stacking blocks & are super fun to line up around the edges of the kitchen rug while i cook, ya know?

i guess he's just doing what any curious eighteen month old should be doing & i guess i'm just reacting like most every other mom... going crazy learning to be patient.  because really, at the end of the day it's all pretty amazing.  sure, sometimes i get my hair pulled, my face scratched, or my shoulders bit from an angry kid who would rather stay on the floor playing with cars than get picked up to have his messy diaper changed, but i also get random hugs, kisses & snuggles too.  so i guess it evens out?  yeah, it does.

actually no, it's not even.  it's way better than even.  i had no idea being a parent would be this awesome.  i had no idea that watching parker learn things & laugh & have fun & grow & explore would bring me such a crazy amount of happiness.  like actual, physical, i-can-feel-it-in-my-gut happiness.  because that happens daily.

so the moral of the story?  after all the food throwing, hair pulling, face scratching, & mess making is said & done, i would still have it no other way.  my kid is growing & developing & loves me despite the screams for "daddyyy!!!" through diaper changes.

for that?  i'm grateful.

always grateful for votes. but you knew that.